We have been working a sweep that has proven very difficult for me so I am thankful for some very patient training partners this week. They both have seemed so confident and made the move seem effortless...while I was spazzy and sweating and out of breath and obviously not executing it very well. They just kept encouraging me and helping me tweak it and make it my own and they didn't let me stop. I am in desperate need of one of those beautiful moments when everything comes together, but right now it's just not happening. I am extra slow and clumsy and my cardio downright SUCKS! The summer heat is kicking me in my big old butt. I have been fortunate to roll this week with some exceptional partners, pushing me and encouraging me, just the right balance of push and pull. I'm thankful for that. I needed that. I even managed some Judo rolls this week. I didn't sneak out of doing them like I had been doing in previous weeks. I just walked up to the line and took a deep breath and did one at a time until I was through. I was slow, but I did them. I'm thankful for that too. I have to say I was really feeling the jiu jitsu love last night after training. I haven't been feeling that a lot lately and it was starting to worry me. It's that feeling that comes from stepping on the mat, working hard and finishing class and stepping off the mat and knowing you did something exceptional. I love that feeling. I go home bouncing off the walls wanting to talk about jiu jitsu to everyone at my house...even when they don't necessarily want to talk about it with me....but they listen and nod and smile...that's enough for me. So tonight I am looking forward to class. I will train to the best of my ability and hopefully this sweep will come together...if not, that's okay. I am working on being patient with my training. I am a slow learner. I know this in my heart, but my head wants my body to hurry up and learn, learn, learn. So I am taking a deep breath and smiling and telling myself to slow down and enjoy the small victories and look forward to all the wonderful jiu jitsu I still have to learn.
The emotional stages you go through are so rough. I think the transition of the newness wearing off (good stuff and bad) can be very difficult to navigate, but like everything else, is completely worth pushing through.
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Keep at it you'll hit that sweep sooner than u think n it's the best feeling to know that everything finally clicked even if for a moment
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