There is really no worse feeling than waiting for bad news. I remember that feeling when my Daddy was sick. We knew something was wrong, we just didn’t know how bad it was. When he was dying, I remember that feeling I had in my heart and in my gut every single day, waiting for the bad news, but hoping to get to have him one more day. That is how I’m feeling right now; waiting for the bad news, but hoping for the best. Things do not look good for baby Emma and right now I am very emotional and angry and upset. I have a lot of pent up emotions that I really need to get rid of. My daughter has already sent me a text today asking me if we are going to jiu jitsu. So, tonight we will train. Tonight I am hoping for some of those things that I love about jiu jitsu…grace and beauty. Tonight those things would be the best gift of all.